The Ball is in your Court
The Ball is in your Court
Question:Ambassador, I asked for your advice some time ago, and I'm just recently seeing it.
I was the one who spoke of the two boyfriends within a short period of time, and losing sleep over my mother’s guilt from breaking up with the second. Then you said to try and get out of the dramatic problem between the ex liking my friends...
I've been looking around for more guy friends, and possible relationships…trying first for friends. Eventually, I went to band camp and met two awesome guys, and a girl, who I love to talk to, and spent the whole week with.
One, liked the girl, the girl and other guy, broke up recently.
Obviously I entered more drama, but not until after I became good friends with them did I find out all this. The guy who liked the girl (Guy- Jared, Girl-Erin)... it was obvious, and he's a year younger, and after getting to know him, he's just staying my good friend. The other guy? (Andy) Well, I've got a big crush on him, but... He's pretty much heart-broken from Erin, so I just stuck to being his friend, and we had fun, laughed, exchanged numbers and still talk... But now two weeks after camp and we still talk.
Perhaps it's a good time to mention this: He lives 10 hours away.
I really miss him, and he asked if I like him, and I told him yes. He asked why, I told him. He's been very sweet about it, and unlike other guys in the past, he stayed the same friend to me. We talk alot still, and I check his myspace page to see his mood some times, because I want to make sure he's not being all "emo-acting", and (this may sound somewhat obsessive) I noticed a comment missing from his "about Me" section. He said he didn't like dating, then after me saying I liked him, and talking more, it was gone.
I'm not ready for a relationship with him, for sure, but when I would want to, and if he liked me as well... How could we make this work?
Partly, I want to go with it... Another part wants to wait till we see each other again next summer, but I am going to a new school, and I always seem to have a few guys that like me (I know a few right now) and if I start dating someone and still am in the summer...And Andy's everything I want in a guy, we were mistaken for a couple once(awkward!), and I really like him, and I know I'll like him come next summer...
Mind helping again?
Erika
Answer:Wow my sweet Erika, talk about jumping out of the fire and into the frying pan. I know the cliché is tacky, but seriously I don’t know where to start. Your words literally bubble off the page with anticipation and butterfly nervousness. Such eager young love flows through your question that it is nearly impossible for me to unglue my eyes from this liquid crystal display.
First and foremost Erika, I’m very glad that you wrote back in with a status report of your life. It always makes me feel good when someone tells me that my advice has helped them. This time around things are a tad bit less complicated. Basically, you are falling for a guy but he is 10 hours away. Well I’ll tell you this my dear Erika, attraction knows no bounds or distance, so don’t let that dissuade you from talking to Andy.
If you feel that there is a chance that something could come from these conversations, then by all means pursue him, because the moment we let something or someone slip away we lose a tiny piece of our heart with them. This Andy fellow, obviously cares for you and is interested in starting a relationship with you (the Myspace act and him asking how you feel).
The real decision lies up to you my dear, this advice will only serve a purpose if you let it. If you run off and want to pursue new guys at this school, then go for it. Or if you want to try and make it work with Andy, then that’s great too.
The nice thing about your situation Erika is that the ball is in your court so the decision is yours to make. I hope you figure out which hoop you want to shoot into and drain a three pointer. Cheers!
-The Ambassador
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